Hurt

Sunday was a really upsetting day  because of some issues and it was really heartbroken to hear something that really upsets ourselves. Falling out of love? No able to get the guy you like is just mind f***. Best friends comforted me, asking me to cheer up as it was just a waste of time caring about this type of issues. Love isn't as easy as it seems. Being one sided is really sad.

Letting go of the memories isn't easy.

How about getting jealous? 

I don't care about your looks because it was just a bonus. Your character and personality is what i fell for in you. 

Hearing stories that was really shocking and upsetting really made me miserable.

Sometimes, when you are hanging around outside n being seen by my friends, telling me what you were doing with your girl friends really make me wanna bang the wall. 

When i'm upset, i tend to eat alot and not losing my appetite. I gained 1kg after eating so much food when i'm not hungry, forcing food into my body.

When i first heard the news, i felt terrible n upsetting and i was being told on Sunday. I started to get moody and didn't talk much in the car. My parents noticed me. Asked me what happen and i didn't wanted to tell. Once i reached home, i went straight into my room, cover myself up with blanket and started crying the hell out of myself. Suddenly mum came into my room and comforted me after i told her what happen. What she said was right "He's not your boyfriend, you can't do anything because he isn't yours and you dont have the right to control what he is doing plus he isn't worth your time. Now you know what type of person he is, at least you didn't fall into his trap." What my mum said was really true althought i was still upset and she comforted me to sleep. She is a good mother <3 

Don't you find yourself lucky if you found a faithful man and doing sweet stuff than you would never expect? 

I really love guys if they could make me laugh and smile ;)

I REALLY REALLY LOVE SURPRISE GIFTS.

To be honest i love cuddles especially on rainy days n if they could bake some cakes ;>

Nowadays its really hard to find a faithful n perfect boyfriend. What a miserable life i have.  

Today was the last day of school andmy best friends decided to cheer me up and asked me to follow them along for lunch at STRICTLY PANCAKES at siglap road. He had a long walk from Bedok Inter. We took almost half an hour to walk there under the freaking hot sun. 

After a long walk we finally reached and luckily there was aircon. HAHAH

This was what i ate- ice mocha n TIRAMISU, one of my favourite flavours 

This whole meal cost me $17.50 plus GST $1.90 which the total cost me $19.40. IT WAS SO FREAKING EXPENSIVE but, YOLO. This was my first time trying out at this cafe. It didn't regret but just that it was too chocolaty. 

What food can really cheer me up is ICE CREAM. It makes me happy because of the icy cold feeling when it melts in your mouth.

Although me and my best friends have misunderstanding and hatred sometimes with each other but we managed tonpull it through n became friends again. They are a really good friends i have. I will treasure them and i promised myself not to bad mouth them. 

Here are some snapshot i have of them HAHA 

Isn't she just so beautiful? With such attractive eyes? She is really incredible n good friend i have that have a hilarious laughter and her jokes are really funny that can make my day brighten up alot. 

A few days later ill be dyeing my hair marshmallow brown which is so awesome. 

And here are some colour hair dye i've always wanted to dye but unfortunately i can't due to school and other reasons ;/ i have always wanted to have a really long hair but now my hair is around my boobs length? I wanted to put hair extension because i really love long hair but it cost $100 for 100 extension n it will give 100 free extension. Isn't it worth? Well, im still considering whether or not to put extension

Ombre was one of my favourite but lilac is fabulous 

I find purple really nice 

Cotton candy pink

I really wish that i have such nice figures like them. Well i'm still far away from them 

A few days ago, i was lazying around my bed and decided to explore youtube to search for new songs. As i was searching, i decided to search EXO. At first i didn't know they were so awesome until i started hearing there song. 

-MAMA, GROWL n WOLF

These songs are fabulous. You should watched their weekly idol too. Weekly idol is a entertainment or so called a variety show of kpop doing funny actions and knowing some of their secrets. These are my idol's from EXO-K 

Sehun 

Lay

Don't they just make you melt? You should really hear their song. 

I guess this will be the end of my story ;) 

So this is a photo of me that i took a few weeks ago. #THROWBACKBACKBACK. 

Growing Up

Let's take a photo together shall we

Let's capture the memories together, whatever we do. Let's keep it as memories so we wouldn't forget.

Today i decided to show you people my past few years photo and the 'change' in me HAHA.

This was my baby photo me on the left and my older sister on the right

HAHAHAh can you believe this was my 8th birthday? From the number of candles i counted in the photo cause i forgotten.I'm looking really chubby here with a round face. Wondering who is the girl beside me on the right? She is my older sister, she is 2 years older than me and she is god damn skinny.

This was me in kindergarden. I was camera shy so bear with my face. The boy beside me use to be my crush in kindergarden cause he is freaking cute LOL. Lame how old was i and i already fell in love. That was my graduation day for my KINDERGARDEN LOL.

Oh my goodness *LAUGH* this was me in the helmet hairstyle as what people call it these days. I'm the little girl wearing tweetybird, my aunts dog, my sister wearing the barbie shirt HAHA.

This is a photo of my family as you can see we are a very happy family with the funniest and loving parents. I really appreciate my parents because it seems like they are the only parents that are very open and crack jokes unlike most of my friends parents that take every word their child say seriously and no joking around with them. This is a photo taken at GENTING for my sisters birthday ;D

This is me with two pony tails and this photo was taken at Johor Bahru. JUSCO shopping centre. JUSCO is the frequent place we always visit whenever we go malaysia and we usually watch 2 movies straight. POWER. The picture below is me, my dad n sister. The three ladies in the house prepared sushi for my dad because it was a FATHER'S DAY. Although it looks like shit , as least we tried our best to made a sushi because it was our first attempt.My mum took a snap of us *SAY CHEESE*

This is hubert and me. As you can see i use to have a really long n smooth hair but now sigh. My hair is like rubbish.

 This was taken when i was in the car on the way to science centre with my family.

This was the first time i cut bangs. After i cut bangs, i went to find my mum and she scolded me for cutting bangs because it covers my fore head and it can make my face grow pimples. At that time i did't care because i was pimple free and i didn't know it would affect me until now with PIMPLES all over my face. But it wasn't obvious it was just small pimples and some black heads. Well this is normal anyway cause it was caused by PUBERTY.

This a my PRIMARY 6 birthday celebrated at NEX. All the girls are my classmates, best friends. All the guy was friends i know from my block downstairs. The guy in the dark blue shirt was my sisters boyfriend (at that time, now they broke up) The guy in light blue with a yellow cartoon was my boyfriend (now we are not ) The guy in front of him was IAN. He is a really good friend and good at playing jokes, he was also a mama boy at that time HAHA. All of us use to play badminton and lepak around the void deck or go each others house and slack. Really miss these memories. Sadly we dont keep in contact anymore.

OMG. This is a photo of me with short hair. This was taken in 2012 Mid of January. I had no choice but to cut my hair short because of my scalp. I really need to maintain the way i take pictures. I look so eeks here LOL.

As time goes by, there was once my sister first bought her contact lens and there was a spare contacts. So she decided to give me and i wore it. Before i wore it i was afraid of things that might happen like, the contact rolls to the back of my eyeball and can''t take out or i might get blind. LOL annoying me. This was the first photo taken the first time i wore contact lens. I started to buy more coloured contacts like purple, blue ,brown, black. This was like sec 1 that time.

after my hair grew and i could tie it up like a finally!

This was the first time my sister put on make-up for me and asked me to be a model in the middle of the night LOL.

This is when me and sister went all the way to other end of singapore (BOON LAY) just to collect our lens.

This was the first time i drew eyeliner by myself when i went to nex with friends LOL

Going to bugis and catch a movie with my family.

I remember this was the night where i gotten my eye infection the first time. Although i kena eye infection but i still wanted to act pretty and chio so i continued wearing until my eye got quite bad and went to the polyclinic.

From than on i stopped wearing contacts but continued putting on makeup. 

There was once i entered my sister room and saw this white sticker and i asked her what is was. She said it was double eyelid sticker. I was being an innocent little girl there and asked her to put on for me cause i wanna try. After she stick the double eyelid sticker on my eyelid , my eyes became bigger and i dont look that emo anymore. I was a complete noob that time so i didn't know what all this things was. I also realize that i could draw a thicker eyeliner too. LOL. From there on i bough alot of double eyelid sticker to try on to see which sticker suits me the most. This was how i look like after i stick double eyelid sticker. Obviously it looks much much bigger n nicer than my previous photos.

I started to train my makeup. Whenever i go out, i will put on makeup and become more pro. I tried different types of makeup on me. And of course i look nicer with makeup than without.

 I can say i am more girly than i was in Primary 3 n 4. You have no idea how i dress my self up. I use to wear 3/4 pants and a shirt with a converse. I looked really tomboy not behaving like a girl at all. I was so rough like a boy, acting like a boy.
As i grow up and PUBERTY starts i became more mutual and of course more girly. Now i behave better than before cause i was really terrible looking when i was younger.
I started wearing like a girl, a dress and a skirt, wearing girly shoes, short shorts and knows how to doll myself up pretty.

As time goes by in school, i started to have haters from the same badge and of course being badmouth. Best friends were gone, no longer keeping in touch and most of them have their own clique and friends to hang out with. I started to change my attitude and stand strong by myself. I become more ah lian i know but this is what they cause me to become. I didn't wanted to be like this until haters started to appear and misunderstanding happening here and there in school. I started to scold alot of vulgarities when i rage and roll at people whom i don't like. Y'know HATE AT FIRST SIGHT.

Actually when i started wearing contact lens, boys started to pm chat me on facebook, likers increase. That was the first time a guy ever pmed chat me and i decided to reply them. But as i post more pictures of myself on facebook, more boys pmed chat me and i found it annoying because i don't have the time to entertain each and every of them. TBH, i only replied mostly cute, handsome boys LOL. I know more people on the net and become more sociable with people, not anti-social anymore. I started to make friends with them and met them real life. They were so called mu online friends. Slowly they became my brother and sisters/friends. It wasn't that scary  meeting guys online after i had chat with them for about 1month plus.

Basically i chose to make friends online because no friends in real life is willing to be my friend because of the way i look. They say i looked fierce and they were afraid to make friend with me but im not at all. I am so outgoing at times if i know you well or i am fine hanging out with you.

 CHEESE ;B

When i was sec 1, i was quite fat. At the beginning of the year i was only 45kg. Mid year i was like 53kg. LOL SERIOUSLY NEED TO MAINTAIN. When i weigh myself once and i saw the freaking 2 digit numbers 53kg, i started to feel depressed and went on diet. I skipped certain meals and starved myself so i could lose weight faster. I slimmed down to 48kg and i was quite happy. I maintained that weight.

When i was sec 2, i started to gain back to 52kg. At that time i was really crazy. I decided to throw up every food i eat. Until i lost back to 48kg. When i threw up food, my hair started dropping like really quick and a bunch of hair just came out when i was bathing, always waking up with a zombie face, always asking for more sleep as if 6-7hours of sleep is not enough and needed more. I was really terrified because i can't afford to lose my precious hair. I threw out all the food i eat and lost back to 48kg. I stopped threwing up when i'm 48kg and started to exercise and eat healthily. I dropped to 47kg and wanted to lose more. I wanted to lose to 42kg cause that is my dream come true. I dont wanna get fat. Whenever i gain weigh i always think that i won't be able to hang out with guys and attract boys( joking) because of my size, Afraid of people judging me being fat. I will always maintain my weight between 40-50kg from now on.

Just to let you guys know that throwing up your food is really not healthy. You will get bulumia and end up in hospital. Loss of hair, become weak and lack of rest. Once you do it more than a week or even a few days. you might get addicted to it and start throwing up every food that you swallowed it. Hope you guess won't follow my steps ;') No matter what you're always pretty in whatever size you are. <3