A few days ago, i felt stress and upset. Nobody understood how i felt, even when i talked to someone close to me he doesnt understand how i felt until i met Zesh. He understood how i felt, cheered me up, made my day.
He sent me sweet text and 'long' text to cheer me up. Make me smile and think positive. We have some things in common like our favourite food 😂.
On the 2nd day, i think, we otp (on the phone) for about 1h? We had so much laughter and making a fool out of ourselves HAHAHAHHA. He thought me how to be happy even when sad things come across.
When im upset i tend to eat salmon or eat ice cream to calm myself and release stress. I might also cry to sleep when i cant tolerate sadness.
You people may think that i talk to many guys but that doesn't mean i'm a flirt or what so ever. Im just being friendly and making more friends. Even if i talk to many guys, that doesn't mean i have to fall for them. I take them as friend/brother/besties. I'm not a girl thag would fall for guys easily, not like met once or twice than fall in love. I look for their personality and the way they treat me. So what if they sweet text you? Send you those heart shape emoji n stuff? I bet many people who have a soft heart would fall for this type of guys easily. We have to learn not to fall for people easily, keep change crush isn't something nice. That shows that we can't decide who we really like. Its just a temporary feeling, after a while it'll be GONE.Doesn't mean that when they confess to you, you have to accept them or fall for them.
Usually people fall for them because of looks than the way they talk. Don't you agree? Have you ever felt that when you saw a handsome/pretty guy or girl your heart will pump faster? It ever happen to me but now not anymore. I started to think, so what if their handsome? Do they have a good personality? Loyal and faithful?
Anyway finding such handsome/pretty girlfriend/boyfriend what for? Always have bees flying all around. Its not easy keeping them by your side.
Until now, i have a crush on this guy for a year ++. I confessed but things didn't turn out how i wanted it to be because at that time, he had a girlfriend. Even if he have a girlfriend in future, i would congratulate them. There was once i told myself to give up. But it failed, i really cant forget or not care about him. I fell for him because of his personality and the way he takes care of me when im sick.A few weeks before, he suddenly sent me a long text about his feelings towards me and i was shock. Miracle happen and i was really overwhelmed by what he sent me. That was the longest text i have received from him followed by my bdae text by him (2nd longest). Well, things between us is now so complicated. We drifted quite abit because of his work and i have to go to school. Out timing crashes, because he starts work at 6pm and ends at 3am. When i wake up for school, he would be sleeping. When he wakes up around the evening, i'll be busy with homework. We didn't chat as much as before. Maybe one day we might stop chatting because we rarely had any topics to talk about and we didn't met for so long, maybe about a month or so? I remember there was once in 2013, we met 4 days straight during my end of year exams because i end early and we could meet up for lunch :). Really miss those times. Especially going to East Coast Park. That was the most memorable day for me.
Things now are so complicated. Having family problems. I really hate it when people insult me or my friends. I tend to get angry. I doubt you wouldn't like it id someone insult or critisize your friends right? Inside me i was really filled with ANGER. But on the outside i may stay calm because i dont want to start a fight.
Have you ever thought that when you aren't in the wrong, being accused by your parents and you tried explaining but they are always saying its an excuse? Seriously, i can't tolerate it anymore.
If this keeps on i really will explode.
Sometimes the words they say really hurt me. What can i do? Cry? I kept quite all the way or maybe stay in my room the whole day rotting inside or doing my own stuff.
Think what you wanna say before saying it out then hurt people.
They may crack jokes but some jokes aren't meant to me joked. Some people are different, they may/may not like the way you joke stuff so be cautious of what you say.
Anyway 2014, started awfully for me. I bet i will have much happiness these year . This year is my unlucky year i guess. Many problems and complicated stuff. Hope all the unhappiness would be gone and never come back. And hope 2014 would end off really nice for me ;).
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